Darkest Days – Poem 3 – Breakdown


            Here I am, out in the dark, lost
            I’ve tried to find my way
            I wander around this maze of a forest
            I go in a circle and wind up where I started
            This forest that’s somehow a desert too
            My focus is gone, mow by balance too
            I looked, and thought, and wandered…
            I can’t wander anymore

            The enemy surrounds me now
            Threats on every side, I used to fight
            I tried to protect you, tried to protect me
            There’s so much evil, and it’s gotten the better of me
            I’m tired, broken, beat up, down on the ground
            I tried to block, but they were faster
            Bigger and strong, dragons have no mercy
                        when they take you down
            They’ve torn me apart, but won’t quit ’til I’m dead
            I’ve fought before
            But I can’t fight anymore

            Here I am, I’m falling apart on the inside
            I used to be tough and strong
            I was logical and had no fear
            I figured stuff out, searched for the truth
            Balanced my life, my mind
            Stabilized my emotional, accepted my pain
            But the dark cloud has caught up to me
            My mind and my feelings, the real me is breaking
            The confusion is winning, my mind can’t hold on
                        – BreakDown –
            I’ve held myself together for so long
            But I can’t hold on anymore

            I have a big heart, but it’s all in pieces
            I’ve lived and loved and laughed
            I’ve given away my life, one day at a time
            I’ve loved with a care deeper than life
            I’ve loved those who hurt me, I’ve forgiven
            I’ve given my all, but now I’m all gone
            My broken, bleeding self –
                        All I have, all I am, all I’ve become
                        I can’t pretend anymore
                        I’ve said I’m okay
                        I’m not okay anymore

            So that’s me, that’s where I am
            I’ve run the race, and fallen on my face
            I can’t find my way, can’t even hold on
            I can’t pretend to be okay, can’t fight anymore
            That’s my story, it’s all I have
            No one else is here to help
            I’m lying here, I’m praying to You
            God – here I am, all of me is Yours
            Here’s what’s left of me, I still give myself to You
            I lay my broken heart before You
                        It’s all I have!


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