Darkest Days – Poem 5 – Objectivity


But you see,
         It’s hard to be objective
         When you fall to the ground
         Cus you can’t breathe anymore –

And,
         It’s hard to be objective
         When you cry in your sleep
         Cus your heart lies bleeding on the floor –

                                                                                    It’s hard…


Darkest Days – Poem 2 – The Trail of Blood Ends Here


As I walked down the garden path
The red contrasting with the green grass
      caught my eye

I saw it was blood and followed the
Trail of blood a few feet when I saw
      She was dead, curled up in a ball

Her face looked quite peaceful and calm
Lying in a pool of crimson
      both wrists slices from palm to the end of the forearm
      and next to her a note

I felt dizzy and sick – I had to sit down
      but then I picked up the note and read:

                  ______________________________

                  You may be wondering why I’m dead
                  A happy, stable young lass like me –

                  You might wonder if you would have
                              Comforted or cheer me
                                    But no –
                  I loved life, don’t get that wrong
                  I dance and sing and love to make pie
                  That’s not why I had to die
                  Yes, I had lots of pain in my life
                  But I was cool with it – I didn’t want to escape

                  I killed myself, and I’ll tell you why
                  I’ll tell you why I had to die
                  Wherever I go, I try to leave
                              some sort of legacy
                  I tried to leave smiles and hugs,
                  Laughter and warmth, healing and hope

                  But I’m trouble – behind me you’ll see
                              my true and real legacy
                  I leave a trail of blood behind me
                              I break heart and harm people
                              wherever I go

                  I tear people’s hearts out – I ruin their lives
                  They trust me and I repay them with lies
                  You can’t just say sorry; what’s done is done
                  But I can stop it from happening again

                  Sure I might also bring laughter and song
                  But it’s the blood that catches my eye
                  Light and laughter will go on the world
                  But this life of shedding blood will end

                  May God heal all those who are hurt by my head
                  This isn’t how I wanted things to be
                  But my life has been just a trail of blood to others,
                  And this trail of blood ends here.

______________________________




#DarkestDays

All people have pain. Some people have deep and terrifying internal pain, at points. Now, there is one huge difference between those who end up healing from that pain, and those two don’t – the difference is whether they are willing to go to those dark places inside of themselves.

Some people seem to live by the motto, “We don’t go there,” in order to stay “fine.” Anyway, I’m going to be posting a series of poems that I myself wrote several years ago, when I was going through a really dark time myself.

GoThere

At this point in my life, I have full healing from those things. So first of all, that means that once you “go there,” you don’t have to get stuck there! Healing IS possible! One can absolutely must it through these things. The wounds from the past are now, in my life, nothing but scars that have an old story attached.

My motto is:  We DO go there!

A humorous caricature of the other approach (we don’t go there) is excellently illustrated in this sketch: “Stop It” Therapy 

So, the next several posts will be a collection of my “Darkest Days” poems. Enjoy!